Buddha Geek

Telling Time

2004-11-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

Why persist in telling time?
It will not listen to you.

Stone's Throw

2004-10-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

why travel the universe,
a stone's throw from here,
the intersection of everything

Perfection

2004-10-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

Seek perfection, to what end?
That's like tending thorn bushes.

Rather, take hold of this root
and cast all delusion aside!

Lingering

2004-10-26T16:22:00.000-07:00

blossoms fade so quickly
just so, we also fade
how fortunate to leave
faint sweetness lingering

Center

2004-10-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

There can be no there independent of here.

There can be no that independent of this.

There can be no you independent of I.

There can be no beginning, no end, of anything.

Only the center of everything.

Answers

2004-10-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

What words would be best
to answer that which simply never was?

Fresh Paint

2004-10-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

A fresh coat of paint
for a ship lost at sea
and sinking...
...what nonsense!

Dreamer

2004-10-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

An expert dreamer
My crowning achievement
A dream of just one moment
To last a lifetime

Listening

2004-10-14T01:21:00.000-07:00

Seashell to your ear
hear not distant waves
but listening, itself

It is deafening!

Phenomena

2004-09-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

I is phenomenal.

So is you.

Dying (and Living) with Others

2004-09-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

I was thinking...if I were stuck in an elevator plunging earthward to certain doom, would I say that I was "dying with" the people in the elevator? Sure I would.

If I were in a big house and an earthquake hit that levelled it, killing everyone inside - would I say that I was dying with the other people in the house? Of course.

If I were in a skyscraper that fell down, I'd be dying with those people, right?

What difference between a 10x10x20 elevator and a house? Only perspective, meaningless measurements to differentiate. What difference between a house and a skyscraper? Only perspective...

What difference between an elevator, a house, a skyscraper, a city, a nation, a whole big silly blue earth? Only perspective.

If you were stuck on a big blue planet with a bunch of other people...
...and you were living there
...would you say that you were living with those other people?

Shame

2004-09-17T13:56:00.000-07:00

If, for a moment, I glimpse clearly the shadow of my own 'self', this projection which can't be pointed at - if I see it head-on for just a fraction of a second...

...I become overwhelmed by grief. Grief, and shame, for the terribly cruel and harmful things I've done all in the name of (or pride in, or obsession with) this ultimately false and ridiculous puppet and its painted-on face.

So little a thing, actually a no-thing, am I - why shouldn't I have given just everything for the benefit of those I've known? What use could I possibly have for any of it, that would outweigh the benefit (even if only perceived) to my friends and lovers and relations and even the strangers.

I've been selfish, as selfish as the worst little brat, ranting and conniving and hurting over the tiniest morsels of useless dirt.

I guess to make any real use of this, I'll first have to develop the strength to face it without dissolving completely. :)

Circles, Mirrors and the Ironic Comedy of Time

2004-09-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

Even before my own early experiences with Buddhism, I'd a girlfriend who got interested in it.

It's amusing because, at the time, I was SO closed-minded, so hostile and angry at the world that I wasn't able to appreciate her profound discovery: Not only was I unsupportive, I was angry. I was insulting, I was cruel, I conspired against her study at every turn. What a son-of-a-bitch I was! :(

That relationship imploded shortly thereafter by-the-way. :P

Anyways, it must have been a very painful and difficult time for her - I know it was, because I now face the exact same thing...

...and I think that's pretty freaking funny.

What amazes me is the things I hear my partner saying: I could swear they are my words from 1987 almost verbatim: "you're an idiot, a weak fool, you're being taken advantage of, sucker. you're stupid".

At first I pondered (rationally) how it might come to pass that the same treatment I'd dished-out near 20 years ago was haunting me now.

Did I subconsiously inspire this behavior from my partner (like a mirror) as a self-punishment? Did I somehow put myself and others in a position that would likely give rise to this situation, perhaps so I could relive it (like a circle) either for nostalgia or, again, as punishment?

In the end, though, it doesn't matter, because it's freaking funny! I don't think it's relevant how it came-about, I think the value here is in the sheer simple irony and hilarity of it.

Oh, if only the ex could see me know, she'd get a kick out of it I'm certain.

Talk about your payback, eh? Funneh funneh... :P

An Earlier Brush with the Dharma

2004-09-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

Back in the late 80's when I was a wee pup I made a point of trying everything I could get my hands on - anybody, any substance, any mindset, whatever. I did such a good job of it that by the time I was 21 I was effectively numb to the differences between any thing and any other thing. I grew out of it, like we all do.

Somewhere in there was a stint with I guess Nichiren Buddhism, ya know their thing is 'nam myoho renge kyo'. It went okay but I was really selfish and only wanted the base and simple pleasures of meditative states (through mantra). Did I develop insight? Probably not - maybe a glimpse?

Since I wasn't open to the Dharma, it really went screwy. I quit and anyways the Nichirens were not liking my rebelious attitude very much, hehe - youth, right?

And then I went back into a deep, deep dream for about 15 years.

PS: I now believe that I narrowly escaped a dangerous cult at that time, though not through wisdom but just plain youthful instability. Lucky me, though!